Mondays

This morning started off with rain. Rain coupled with longest day ever = grumpy and reluctant-to-go-to-class Angela. I trekked off to Orgo recitation at 8:45 this morning. Of course, I couldn't find the classroom, so I was late. I went to French class, and it has shrunk again--from the original 10, only six remain. I want to get closer to the group of girls in my French class, but it's so odd. We have this common interest in French, and we have a bunch of other things in common, but it seems like we're in such a rush to leave and head off to our next class that we just don't bother to get to know those around us. It's funny how if any of those girls were Asian, I wouldn't feel as wary about approaching them and getting to know them. Yesterday, I found out one of the girls in my class is half Chinese and half French (how cool is that) and I automatically felt like I wanted to get to know her more. It's so stupid when I think about it, that I want to get to know people who have a similar cultural background as me when there are plenty of other people out there who may not have a similar cultural background but have ideas that are similar to mine. Even if they had ideas that challenged my own, that wouldn't be so bad. I don't know. Why is it so hard to approach fellow students? It really shouldn't be that hard.
Anyway, the rest of my academic day passed by uneventfully. I had dinner with Sarah Chang, and it was really fun. It's cool how she isn't any different even though she's married and all. Kinda crazy. I can't imagine being 25 and already married... there's just too many opportunities out there that are much more easily accomplished if you don't have kids. haha
Finalement, I thought of some culture differences that we talked about in French class today. It's so interesting some of the things France values versus America. French people don't talk to strangers because conversation creates a bond and they don't want to create bonds with people they will never see again. They also close their shutters at night because the house is a private space. Whenever they meet new people, they never ask for names or occupations because that kind of thing is too personal. Instead, they argue about politics and current events. They have a very fluid concept of time which is why they are sometimes obscenely late for things and it really just doesn't matter. Finally! They also think that political figures' only job is to govern rather than being a role model or to have high moral character aside from the government.
I guess some of those things just blow my mind. It'd be so cool to just go up to a stranger and start talking about politics and just walk away without ever knowing his name. At the same time, I don't think I could ever have a fluid notion of time. People have got to be on time.

Early Mornings

Taken at 7:30 this morning. I get to see this lovely building everyday no matter where I go. Today was a Leadership Retreat for our church. It was a lot of lecturing about what's going on in our church and who needs help and whatnot. Honestly, I didn't really get much out of it because I feel like I'm involved with the ministries that I want to be involved in.
While one of the girls was lecturing, I started nodding off, and Dan reprimanded me later for it. Funny/Annoying thing is, he was nodding off during other people's lectures as well, but it just so happens that the girl who was lecturing is someone that he really respects and admires. It's funny how things like that happen. I know I do it too. When Yooni unni was lecturing, I decided to sit up and listen even though I don't interact much with Youth Group. I wonder if professors have a similar power over their students--if they're well respected and well-liked, do students tend to be more awake during their lectures?
Anyway. I am off to the library to tackle the homework that I've always talked about for the past few days...

Rainy Days

Yesterday was a pretty uneventful day. After class, I just bummed around in my room until I had to go to a meeting and then help out with Activities Fair outside on East Campus. I didn't get a chance to check out the other organizations on campus because I was busy advertising for our church. It's really sad how few people signed up, and even though I should be encouraged that a few people did sign up, I feel like those few people did it just to get the free watermelon that we were giving out and just felt bad about taking it and not signing up. I don't know. Anyway. It started pouring halfway through the fair, and everyone ran for it. Unfortunately, I decided to stay to help clean up, and I was completely soaked through. I hate rain. The only reason why it's useful is to occasionally lower the temperature. After the Activities Fair, I had to go to church without being able to stop by my room, but I dried off after like.... four hours...
During church, it was a night of praise and worship, and I honestly wasn't really ready for it. It was really intense, and it was a good way to try to get back into the swing of things, but I think it could have been a little intense for the Freshman. Anyway, praise was good and prayer was good.

Redecorations

We've taped up magazine pictures to our wall. I really like the effect, and our room is definitely more homey.
Today has been such a good day! I had a really great physics recitation, a good round of tennis with friends (some old, one new!), yummy dinner with Amy, and good responses to my emails :)
On a sour note, I have a huge amount of homework piled up already because I set it all aside to redecorate my room :)

One Picture a Day

I'm going to take one picture that symbolizes what I've been doing that day.

For yesterday:


It's only the first week of the semester, and I've already been barraged by readings and homework. C'est la vie.



Dinner with friends at Faculty Commons :) Good conversations, good friends, and good food are the simple joys in life. It was a good break from all the work that's waiting for me on my desk, and it was nice to just catch up with the girls.
Other highlights from today:
Good French discussion (but when did my French become so bad!?)
& loved Orgo professor and the lecture
& flyered on East campus with friends
& lychee bubble tea
& plans to redecorate our room :)

Peace of Mind

The title of my blog is Peace of Mind (in French of course) :)
I feel at peace with a lot of my thoughts after I write in this blog, relating what's been on my mind recently. This morning, I received a devotional in my email, and I felt compelled to read it.
It had this super long Bible verse, and then it had a commentary made by someone else describing what peace is in relation to God.

I discovered that peace doesn't mean the end to conflict; it simply demonstrates the love of God. And we don't have to wait for a major crisis in our lives; we can allow the peace of Christ to rule our hearts each day.

Colossians 3:15 - Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Singlehood

When I first became single again, I felt like it was such a relief. I didn't have to answer my phone all the time or constantly check my phone for texts. I felt like these invisible chains that tied me to someone were now broken, and it was such a relief. Unfortunately, a couple of months passed, and I began to miss the idea of having a boyfriend--someone who's always there to talk to you and comfort you, someone who can relate to you on multiple levels... After that, singlehood felt like a curse. I felt like I was always alone with no constant companion.
It's funny how things work out. A few months later, and I'm totally fine with being single with no prospects in sight. I'm smelling the flowers while I can and enjoying my time not having to be accountable to anyone or relying on someone for basic needs. When the time comes that I find that I need to rely on a boy for some of my problems, then I'll know I'm ready to be back in a relationship. But until that time... I'll be okay :)

Children

Something about kids just draws me to them. How they're minds work and how they're so open to new ideas and new concepts intrigues me. I think I realized that I really wanted to work with them because I love the results from helping them. I love how some kids begin really unreceptive and unresponsive to whatever you're trying to help them with, but with persistence they're just like a flower bud that slowly starts to bloom. (what a corny analogy...)
Anyway, kids can be really discouraging at times. The ones that I don't bond with, I feel like I've failed them at some point--failed to be a person they can relate to and look up to, failed to be someone they can trust and open up to...
This camp that I'm working at for this week is really cool. The theme is forensics and we're teaching 5th and 6th graders different ways to solve a crime (ex: blood spatter analysis, fingerprint dusting, etc.) It's super cool, and the most awesome part of it is that these girls grasp ideas that I didn't learn until my freshman year in high school... stuff like DNA in cells and how our entire digestive system works.
Kids are cool. :)

Growing up

My parents helped me move in again this year. It was weird, realizing that having your parents make some decisions for you could actually be helpful. I was really sad to see them go when they left. It's always such a reality check that when they leave, there's really no one that you can completely trust to always be there to help you out and be with you when you need them.
It's really scary just thinking that we are actually growing up, and we are slowly taking control of our futures.

Photography

I have developed a newfound love for photography. It gives me a new way to look at a lot of things. So many objects change when you look at them through a lens. It's funny how a place that isn't very pretty can turn out to be a good photo while some places that are so pretty and clean don't always turn out to be great pictures.

The opportunity to take pictures around Michigan helped me develop a love for certain places around town, and I truly began to appreciate the beauty that lies in Detroit. Although it's still one of the most dangerous cities in the United States, that could be exactly what helped define the architecture and character in Detroit.

Love

Why does everything have love as a part of the plot?
It's like we have some masochistic obsession with watching beautiful people attain that seemingly unreachable goal in life of love with their soul mate who can complete their sentences and is, of course, equally beautiful.

Death

Death is an unsurpassable limit of human existence...
-Medard Boss

I always forget how dramatic death can be. As my brother put it, "One minute he's there and the next, he's not." His description, though matter-of-fact and detached, is true. It's simple, really. So how come my grandma being on the verge of dying frightens me so much?
I've never been close to my paternal grandma. She's a hypochondriac, and she doesn't like my family as much as our other relatives... or so my mom has influenced me to believe. Yet last night when my dad called back to China, I was holding my breath, just waiting to hear whether or not she was still alive. Anxiously, I read his face for any sign of the verdict. She is still alive, luckily, but we all know she is on the brink of death.
I don't fear death; it is merely the end of my story, and when it comes, I think I'll be grateful for eternal rest from this hectic, constantly moving life. I fear the death of my loved ones. If they die before I die, I will begin to lose the people who I care about. Similar to Tuck Everlasting, if you're alive for too long, you will end up alone in the world. At least in Tuck Everlasting they had their family, but what happens if they are gone as well? Maybe death is scary because it is a constant reminder that we have a limited amount of time here, and there's just too much that we want to do. Or maybe it's because death is inevitable and it is our utmost limit. I think we like to believe that we are invincible on this Earth. After all, we treat it as if we rule it.
It's funny how death is such a taboo subject. No one likes to talk about it; no one wants to think about it. We try to shield children from death because we think they can't handle it, but what if it's not the subject of death but how we present it?