Death is an unsurpassable limit of human existence...
-Medard Boss
I always forget how dramatic death can be. As my brother put it, "One minute he's there and the next, he's not." His description, though matter-of-fact and detached, is true. It's simple, really. So how come my grandma being on the verge of dying frightens me so much?
I've never been close to my paternal grandma. She's a hypochondriac, and she doesn't like my family as much as our other relatives... or so my mom has influenced me to believe. Yet last night when my dad called back to China, I was holding my breath, just waiting to hear whether or not she was still alive. Anxiously, I read his face for any sign of the verdict. She is still alive, luckily, but we all know she is on the brink of death.
I don't fear death; it is merely the end of my story, and when it comes, I think I'll be grateful for eternal rest from this hectic, constantly moving life. I fear the death of my loved ones. If they die before I die, I will begin to lose the people who I care about. Similar to Tuck Everlasting, if you're alive for too long, you will end up alone in the world. At least in Tuck Everlasting they had their family, but what happens if they are gone as well? Maybe death is scary because it is a constant reminder that we have a limited amount of time here, and there's just too much that we want to do. Or maybe it's because death is inevitable and it is our utmost limit. I think we like to believe that we are invincible on this Earth. After all, we treat it as if we rule it.
It's funny how death is such a taboo subject. No one likes to talk about it; no one wants to think about it. We try to shield children from death because we think they can't handle it, but what if it's not the subject of death but how we present it?
